Too Much Joy was a band I discovered back in the early '90's. They put out a few albums since then, but I don't think they're together any longer (search the web). Anyway, they have extremely funny and poignant lyrics and I thought they deserved a page of lyrics because I've never met anyone else who had heard of them. Though I think I converted at least one friend into a fan, back in the day.
(lyrics in italics, song titles in bold)
I was in a movie one time
I didn't have any lines
Just smiled at the leading lady
Got cut but at least they paid me
Nothing on My Mind
Laughter and joking's illegal now
They want to kill you but they don't know
Hey Merlin
Hey Merlin
everything's nice
nothing has changed
first comes the snow
then come the rain
Gramatan
He called me
William Holden Caulfield
It was no compliment
What's wrong with William Holden Caulfield?
…
I'm afraid of people who like Catcher in the Rye
Yeah, I like it too, but someone tell me why
People he'd despise say I feel like that guy?
William Holden Caulfield
A great idea when we were smashed
Turning anger into cash
We ain't seen much, but we don't starve
We drive around in our moms' cars.
To create, you must destroy
Smash a glass and cry
"Too Much Joy!"
Theme Song
There's no one famous from my hometown
Unless you count one astronaut
Who's never been to space
And probably never will
But he's our hero still.
Must be tough on the astronauts
I bet they get bored easily
'Cause how does it feel
To look up at the moon
And say "Yeah, I've been there."
Goodbye Ohio
I'm tired of the stories that you always tell
Shakespeare couldn't tell a story that well
You're the largest liar that was ever created
You and Pinocchio are probably related
That's a Lie...Just one glass of wine with dinner, officer
You're a liar… L.A., what a great place!
That's a Lie...No mom, I'm not on drugs
You're a liar....Of course I love you
That's a Lie
I was Genghis Kahn
I was Aristophanes
I was some guy named Urgg in 50,000 B.C.
I was Rasputin, and all the chicks he had
I was Catherine the Great, I was my mom and dad
I could write a book about my past lives
…
I watched Atlantis sink below, hung out with Bowie at the Alamo
I didn't like being Edgar Allen Poe, I was sick a lot when I was Rimbaud
I helped the druids build Stonehenge, me and Buddha invented Zen
Once I borrowed Shakespeare's pen, Joan of Arc was my best friend
I could write a book about my past lives
My Past Lives
The lights went down
The lion roared
I'm losing my mind
But I don't care
I see Donna everywhere
She agreed to move in, but my dog made her sneeze
So I gave the dog away
Should've kept the dog, given her to my friend
Cause he took her anyway
Donna Everywhere
At the $5.99 buffet
In Reno on Thanksgiving Day
Nobody seemed to care
Why anyone else was there
Thanksgiving in Reno
Something's wrong with this world
When clowns got lawyers too.
Starry Eyes
"Hello Love Tractor"
I wrote on the wall
Between a bunch of bands
With better names
…
It's a great big old country
No one's got anything in common
Everyone can talk about TV
Hello Love Tractor
You can power a city with this
I am useless, I am a mess
I am the smallest giant ever
I am the smallest giant ever
…
Everything you've ever said is brilliant
Anything you wanna do is fine with me
This is much better than love
This is… a crush story
Crush Story
Gonna feel like hell tomorrow
So I won't go to sleep tonight
Na na na na… sorrow
Everything's going to be alright!
I am invincible, I have no fear!
I am benevolent, I am the King of Beers
King of Beers
She's just as close as that payphone
I'll call collect, she won't mind
I'll make fun of her ex-boyfriend
I'll ask her what she wants to name our kids
She'll tell me she can't live without me
I'll call her Nancy, until she calls me Sid
Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
The fact that nothing matters
When you're Drunk and In Love
Drunk and In Love
Thirteen hurting nightlight years spent sitting at the kiddie table
Til Uncle coughs and chokes and goes and then there's room for you
Innocents Ablaze
All the girls in the music biz
Have credit cards, they subscribe to Ms.
And they only wanna fuck
Long haired guys from England
…
I'm getting on an aeroplane
Going someplace where the girls are sane
Bet in London I can get a date
Cause I'm a short-haired guy from the United States
Long Haired Guys from England
I don't feel bad about letting you go
I just feel sad about letting you know
…
Once upon a time at home
I sat beside the telephone
Waiting for someone to pull me through
When the bastard didn't ring
I knew it wasn't you
A New England
I'm not praying to a god whom I not sure exists
If yours does that's cool, I hope that he'll assist
Us as we fight the good fight, against all good fights
Soft Core
Wish I was as cool as Calvin
This sort of thing wouldn't bother me
Making fun of bums
Bad karma thing to do
Making Fun of Bums
I met this Sex Nazi
She locked me in her room
She only has sex with me
Every other tune
Bad Dog
You can see it in the stars
It's written on our moms
Things are getting worse
Worse
All my clothes were dirty
So I threw them all away
Time for some new ones anyway
I'd like to rob a bank
I'd like some help
I feel like I'm trapped in a book
About someone else
I'm just sitting here waiting for the train
Tomorrow I'll be waiting here again
Pirate
Pulled out my own stitches
And I think I did it right
That’s 45 more dollars
I can go and drink tonight
You called me a monster
You called me a cartoon
You said you could see everything
In my little thought balloon
The Things I Hate About You
Now we’ve got our own house
It’s even got a backyard
We can toss round the Frisbee
If we don’t toss too hard
I think that someone somewhere
Got a piece of the pie
And they wouldn’t be caught dead
Underneath the Jersey Sky
Underneath the Jersey Sky
I have yet to find a sure thing that I don’t doubt
Song for a Girl Who Has One
Some people think Rod McKuen is a poet
Some people think there’s evil folks and good
Some people vote to electrocute the bad ones
Stand outside the prison and cheer when the lights go dim
I know everybody is my brother
Even my brother though I don’t care much for him
Good Kill
I climbed up a tree
I shouted look at me
Nobody answered
Cause I have cancer
Kicking (That Gone Fishing Song)
No such thing as a normal childhood.
The Kids Don't Understand